Although I was unable to find anyone who I could talk to who had a chld who'd passed away, I did have a family member who was separated from their child for an extended period. family member will remain anonymous for this interview.
Here are some transcription notes of what they told me about the experience.
>How do you feel about being a parent?
I love it, it's something I always wanted. I love being around children, and I used to look after a lot of younger kids when I was young.
>What was it like when your child wasn't there?
I always remembered the my child and constantly missed them.
I had to cope though, becuase obviously life was still going on around me, that I had to deal with what was in front of me. Knowing they were in a safe place helped,but not being able to freely talk to them was what was frustrating. It was hard- on the surface I had to be strong but underneath I was seething with emotions, anger, frustration.
Later on you get almost used to it but sudden things can trigger emotions about the child. And when these hit, I couldn't control it and would start crying. It got to the point where I couldn;t approach people or things that I directly related to my child.
at the end you put yourself at fault for them not being there.
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