Treatment 5/final treatment

The film begins with a woman looking through a photo album, with a variety of family photos. She finally stops at a photo of a young boy, which she begins to stroke. She is sitting on a sofa and surrounded by other objects, such as more albums, knick knacks and children’s clothes. There is a sound from somewhere out of the frame, and then a man, her husband, turns up. He asks her if she has eaten or if he should get her anything. She doesn’t respond, he comes and sits down next to her and asks her whether she’s okay, touching her shoulder. She doesn’t respond at all, so he just gets up and says goodbye to her. After he leaves, she suddenly gets up and seems much more bright and cheerful. She goes to leave, but then calls out to someone upstairs.

The camera follows her for a short while but then switched to her husband. He is looking very agitated in his office, and looks up to see a picture of his wife as his background on his computer. He puts down his pen, picks up his coat and walks out the door hurriedly. Meanwhile the wife is going home and holding a balloon, which has a note addressed to her son. She walks in the door, and goes into the kitchen but then freezes, confused, as she sees the room is filled with balloons. She notices all the messages attached to the balloons which are addressed to her son, and notices a photo of her son with the lines “Rest In peace, my beautiful son”. At this she remembers her son has passed away and then begins to cry, still clutching the balloon.

At this point the husband comes in; looking quite worried, and sees his wife crying. Initially he tells her to get up and tries to comfort her, but she’s unresponsive. He then begins to get angry and says that she can’t keep living like this and she needs to let go. He picks up a kitchen knife and stabs the balloons, violently bursting them. While he is doing this, she begins to sink to the floor and cries out in shock and pain, still clutching that balloon she bought. After he’s finished, he comes and crouches down next to her, and he tries to hold her, and she actually responds and hugs him, back.

The next scene is the couple. They go outside, holding hands and she is holding a balloon. On the balloon is a note saying goodbye and a photo of her son. Initially, she is quite reluctant but her husband holds her hand and helps her to let go of the balloon and they watch it fly into the distance. Then they walk back into the sitting room, and sit down together on the sofa from the beginning. He picks up the album that was left open and looks at the picture, but then she closes the album, once and for all.

Treatment 4 with edits

Feedback from last treatment:

• Husband and wife issue feels like an add on- it';s not clear enough that she's upset about her husband. 
• Find a better way to show that she's in a fantasy
• There is too much of the dad.
• There needs to be a clearer resolution.

New Treatment:

The film begins with a woman looking through a photo album, where there are pictures of first a couple and their daughter, then the girl and her siblings, her grandparents, and then finally a little boy. The woman is surrounded by other objects such as more photo albums and knick knacks, as well as children’s clothes. There are footsteps in the background and then her husband walks into the room and he kindly suggests she puts the album away. She ignores him, so he continues to ask whether she’s eaten and whether she wants anything. She just shakes her head, and so he says he’s going to work and she doesn’t respond.  Just as he’s at the door, there’s a crash, and he turns around. She is now standing up and looking very concerned and hurriedly asks him is he wants anything or if she can do anything for him. He comes over to her and sits her back down and says that she should relax. He asks her whether or not he should stay back, but she just shakes her head and tells him to go to work. After he leaves, she slumps into the sofa and curls into a little ball, but then abruptly stands up. Her behaviour changes and she looks much livelier, so she goes to leave, but stops to say goodbye to an unknown person upstairs.

The camera follows her for a while as she briskly walks down the road. Then it cuts to her husband whose sitting quite agitated and fiddling with a pen in his office. He sees a picture of her on his desktop and then throws down his pen, picks his coat up and leaves. The scene changes again to the woman who stops outside her house with the balloon. She writes down a message for her son and attaches it to the balloon before coming into the house. Walking in, she opens the kitchen door but freezes when she sees all the balloons. On closer inspection she finds that they are all addressed to her son and for various different events in his life.

Then she spots a photo of the same little boy, but underneath it, there is the sentence “Rest in Peace, my beautiful son”. She suddenly realizes everything that has happened and breaks down in tears. At the same time her husband walks in and sees her on the ground, crying. He comes over to her and comforts her and says that everything will be alright. She only responds by clinging back onto him.  The final scene is the couple going outside hand in hand and holding a balloon. There’s a message on the balloon as well as a picture of the son. The wife holds on to the balloon but the husband coaxes her into letting it go, and so they watch it float into the sky together.

Treatment 3/Final draft

The film opens with a hand flicking through a photo album. There are many family photos, one of a young girl and her parents, then one of the same girl and two other children, then the same children with an elderly couple and finally a woman and a little boy. At this, the hand stops, and we see this same woman's face. She's older, about middle ages, and looks down with a sort of empty look on her face. She is sitting on a sofa as she is looking at the photo album, and around her are many other photo albums and books, as well as a multitude of other objects such as ornaments and children's clothes. Her surroundings are cluttered and full as she looks forlornly at the picture. The sound of footsteps are heard, and then a man around the same age as her comes onto the screen. He says good morning to the woman at this point, and she doesn't respond. He looks a little dissapointed at her lack of reaction, but seemingly brushes this off and says he'd off to work now. However, she suddenly picks up, realizing she should say good bye to him or make an effort, and starts to get up but he tells her it's alright and says she should just relax and have a good day.

He walks out the door, leaving her on the sofa, dejected. She looks back at the picture and begins strokes it but then a change comes over her face. She suddenly puts down the album and gets up, looking much more lively then before. Grabbing a bag that's lying near the door, she gets up and goes to the door, but not before she turns around and calls out that she's going to the shops. She walks down her street, and then we cut to the husband. He's at his desk, and is fidgeting with his pen and papers on his desk. With an anxious expression he looks up at his desk, and on his computer is a picture of the woman. for a second he looks conflicted and then he gets up and walks out his office door. 

With the woman again, she's walking along and with her is a balloon. She stops outside her house and she gets out a pen and paper , where she writes down a birthday message for her son, who she said goodbye to earlier on. Smiling at this, she walks into her house, but then begins to feel a bit uneasy. Dropping the other bags of shopping, she staggers towards the kitchen, still clutching her balloon. Once she enters the room, she finds herself surrounded by balloons, of every size and shape. Looking closer she realizes every balloon has a note attached to it and that they are all addressed to her son. Then she notices something in the corner and she releases the balloon she has with her as she goes to inspect it. It's a small picture frame with her son's picture again, and then suddenly her face falls as the reality dawns on her as she sees words on the picture "Rest in Peace, my beatiful son" under one of the picture. She remembers her son dying and all the memories of the people she lost and she collapses on the floor in tears. In the background we can hear someone entering, and her husband comes in. Initially, he still has tears in his eyes but sees that she's crying in a corner, and so he wipes his eyes and goes over to her. He coaxes her up and tells her he's make her some tea.

Three Act Structure

• The woman is suffering from bereavement and other illnesses such as depression. She's started collecting up objects that remind her of her child that she lost as well as memories of the past. The wife feels the relationship between her and her husband is breaking. Her husband on the other hand is incredibly worried about her, and wants to give her the least amount of stress.
• The disruption happens when the husband leaves and tells her he doesn't need anything from her. She misinterprets him that he doesn't need her, and then goes into a fantasy state where she thinks her son's alive. Meanwhile the husband feels bad and goes back to comfort her.
• New equilibrium is that she realizes her son has passed away, and the husband comes in to comfort her.

Balloon Treatment - My edit

After getting feedback from class for our first Balloon Treatment, we were asked to separately think up our own ideas for how the story could go.

This is my version.

Treatment

The film begins as a woman wakes up. She groggily gets out of bed and checks the date and time on her phone that's resting on her bedside table. Meanwhile, we can hear sounds of someone in the bathroom. She also hears this and says good morning to her husband while passing the bathroom door. He replies and says she's going to start breakfast, and while she goes downstairs, she passes a closed door of a bedroom that has a boy's name on it. As she gets downstairs, she opens the fridge to get out foodm and when she closes it it say;s that it is the boy's (her son's) birthday today. She puts some toast in the toaster, and as she does so her husband comes down and eagerly waits for some toast. She gets out three plates and calls down her son's name, but he doesn't reply. Absent minded, she comments on how lazy boys are, and her husband gives a weak smile, before grabbing the toast that pops out of the toaster and bidding her a good day before leaving the house. The woman then calls out to her son that the breakfast is hot, and grabbing some toast herself, she says she's going out to the shops.

At this point, the screen splits. On one side we follow the woman and she goes out to her local corner shop. On the other, we see the man walk over to work.

Some time passes, and the woman come out of the shop, while the man is now at work. On the woman's side, she cheerily leaves and finds a man selling balloons, she cheerily purchases one from the vendor. She then finds a bench and there she gets out a card and writes down a birthday message to her son, and then smiles before getting up to go home. Meanwhile, her husband is shown at work and is being given papers to sign or work with. He sees very depressed, and then goes to leave his workplace, saying goodbye to colleagues. After getting out the door her suddenly stops and breaks down crying against a wall.

The view then fully fixes onto the woman who enter her house. However, everything seems ajar and she stumbles about, quite disorientated. she drops her shopping bags, and seemingly in a trance, she goes over to her sitting room door, still clutching the balloon. She opens the door and there she finds many balloons, all floating about. She's initially shocked, and looks at the balloons and sees that they all have messages attached to them- what;s more, all the messages are addressed to her son and they all are to wish him a happy birthday or congratulate him for something. Then she sees a small table at the corner of the room, and she lets go of the balloon as she approaches the table. There she finds a picture of her son and herself and her husband, however he's only very young in the picture. She then grabs the picture and clutches it to her, and then bursts in to tears as she remembers her son passed away so many years ago.

In the background, we hear the noise of someone opening the door, and her husband comes into the room, seeing her crouched down on the floor crying. He doesn't seem shocked, and wipes away his tear, and then comes over to her. He coaxes her to get up and comments on how she's brought in another balloon, before they both leave the room.

Balloon Treatment 1

A woman wakes up; she's a middle aged stay at home mum. She gets dressed in casual clothes, and then goes down to her kitchen, along the way passing a closed door that has a boy's name on it. She goes into her kitchen to begin breakfast. Getting out two plates and setting them down on a table, she calls her son down to the table and as she does this she passes a calendar that shows it's her son's birthday. He doesn't reply so she says she's left the food hot and that she's going ou to the shops.

On her way to the shop she sees a family walking on the opposite side of the road and smiles at them before going into the shop. She comes out of the shop after some time has passed, carrying some groceries and she spots a man selling balloons. she goes up to the man and asks to buy a balloon, mentioning that it's for her son's birthday. The man asks how old her son will be, and she says that her son will be ten today. The vendor asks if he's a bit too old for balloons and she says it's a tradition between the two of them. She then takes out a card from her bag and leaning against a wall, she writes a birthday message for her son.

She sets off home, but as she enters her house, she feels very disorientated and staggers about. Laying down the bags of groceries, but still holding onto the balloon and it's immediately apparent that something is very wrong as when  she looks about the room it;s completely filled with balloons of every colour. They are all floating about and she notices each of them has a message attached. Looking closer at then, she sees they are all messages to her son; some of them are birthday wishes while others are for other key events in his life such as getting good grades or winning awards. Still very confused, she woman then spots spmething at the corner of the sitting room, which she goes over to look at. There she finds a picture of her son on a small table, with a lit candle and a flower in a vase. At this point, the woman remembers that her son died when he was much younger and that she has been buying him balloons since then as a coping mechanism for her loss. She then bursts into tears in realization.


Feedback:

• Seems like it will take a bit of time to show the whole film-> her going to the shops, and seeing the family, her waking up.
• Making it more obvious she lost her son, needs a tighter ending- example husband could come home.
• However it is an original idea with an interesting narrative.
• Can be more simplified- take out extra scenes.