Monday, 1 October 2012

Treatment 4 with edits

Feedback from last treatment:
  • Husband and wife issue feels like an add on- it';s not clear enough that she's upset about her husband. 
  • Find a better way to show that she's in a fantasy
  • There is too much of the dad.
  • There needs to be a clearer resolution.

New Treatment:

The film begins with a woman looking through a photo album, where there are pictures of first a couple and their daughter, then the girl and her siblings, her grandparents, and then finally a little boy. The woman is surrounded by other objects such as more photo albums and knick knacks, as well as children’s clothes. There are footsteps in the background and then her husband walks into the room and he kindly suggests she puts the album away. She ignores him, so he continues to ask whether she’s eaten and whether she wants anything. She just shakes her head, and so he says he’s going to work and she doesn’t respond.  Just as he’s at the door, there’s a crash, and he turns around. She is now standing up and looking very concerned and hurriedly asks him is he wants anything or if she can do anything for him. He comes over to her and sits her back down and says that she should relax. He asks her whether or not he should stay back, but she just shakes her head and tells him to go to work. After he leaves, she slumps into the sofa and curls into a little ball, but then abruptly stands up. Her behaviour changes and she looks much livelier, so she goes to leave, but stops to say goodbye to an unknown person upstairs.

The camera follows her for a while as she briskly walks down the road. Then it cuts to her husband whose sitting quite agitated and fiddling with a pen in his office. He sees a picture of her on his desktop and then throws down his pen, picks his coat up and leaves. The scene changes again to the woman who stops outside her house with the balloon. She writes down a message for her son and attaches it to the balloon before coming into the house. Walking in, she opens the kitchen door but freezes when she sees all the balloons. On closer inspection she finds that they are all addressed to her son and for various different events in his life.

Then she spots a photo of the same little boy, but underneath it, there is the sentence “Rest in Peace, my beautiful son”. She suddenly realizes everything that has happened and breaks down in tears. At the same time her husband walks in and sees her on the ground, crying. He comes over to her and comforts her and says that everything will be alright. She only responds by clinging back onto him.  The final scene is the couple going outside hand in hand and holding a balloon. There’s a message on the balloon as well as a picture of the son. The wife holds on to the balloon but the husband coaxes her into letting it go, and so they watch it float into the sky together.

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